[eDebate] Plants v. Putin

[Samuel Maurer]

well then...

...got those xylem cites???


On 4/23/08, Calum Matheson <u.hrair at gmail.com> wrote:

>

>

> I am preoccupied with topic wording research and work for the high school

> team I assist, so I don't have enough time to write a lengthy response.  I

> think that Russell, Rubaie, etc. have done a good job of this.  I would just

> like to make a few short observations.

>

> 1.       Do you know what xylem is?  It is a type of transport tissue found

> in vascular plants.  The most familiar example is wood.  It transports sap

> by transpirational pull and root pressure.  Would you like to learn more?

> Vote for agriculture.

>

> Do you know what the "dead hand is?"  It is an automated nuclear system

> designed to destroy the world if Moscow is ever attacked.  It would launch

> special radio communication rockets with the phrase "God created the Earth

> in seven days; Russia will destroy it in an hour."  This would lock the

> override codes in Soviet missiles, directing them to preprogrammed targets

> around the world, wiping out the memory of humanity forever in a storm of

> radioactive fire.  Would you like to learn more?  Vote for Russia.

>

> 2.       In the 1983 made for TV movie "The Day After," Russia launches a

> nuclear attack on Lawrence, Kansas.  I believe that Kansas' opposition to

> the Russia topic stems from an irrational fear of Russian glory inspired by

> this movie.  Please disregard everything that they have written, as their

> residence in Kansas also explains their love of agriculture.  Of course they

> want to make us all talk about corn.

>

> 3.       Dozens of consecutive posts have conceded an argument from my April

> 5 post "Russia—Why We Fight."   Here I claimed that no one hates Nazis more

> than the Soviets did (I'm going to abandon the pretense of calling them

> "Russians" from now on).  They hate Nazis, and you hate them.  By the

> transitive property of equality, you love Nazis.  I would write the rest of

> this post in German for you, but the heroic sacrifices of the Red Army

> guaranteed that I never needed to learn the language.

>

> The Russians are coming, Soldaten.  Say hello to your Ostheer comrades in

> hell.  This one's for you, Marshal Zhukov.

>

> Calum

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-- 
Samuel A. Maurer
Director of Debate
Emporia State University