[eDebate] heart challenge

[Malcolm Gordon]

Okay, I've been waiting for the list of heart competitors to grow, and it 
hasn't, so It's time to call out some fools.

Never before seen in debate, the future tag team champions of the world, the 
real deal, better than the legion of doom..... Blake Johnson and Malcolm 
Gordon will unite for ONE TOURNAMENT ONLY, IF our competitors can meet our 
challenge.

We want everyone to come out, and we challenge you to a no holds barred, 
steel cage match.

Some moves we will deploy:  talking out of our asses, dancing to solve 
capitalism, piledrivers, de dev, and.....Nietzsche.

We've been sitting back and waiting for the list of challengers to grow and 
it hasn't, so where's the fire?  All you old geezers got on here and talked 
about how you were gonna show the young kids how it's done, but you don't 
back up your words.  Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan are drawing social security 
checks and still beating yung 'uns in the ring, but the legends of debate 
are just too scared of the young blood running the show nowadays.

But I'm not going to waste my time calling out the legends, I have respect 
for my elders.  You can all come if you wish, but be warned, we take no 
prisoners.

It's the young bloods, those who think they are the real contenders, who 
need to come out.

Ralph Paone & Dan Luxemburg, put down your starbucks coffee and halt your 
discussion of 1700s french literature, or whatever fancy-pants stuff you 
talk about, and come to Lawrence.  I'm gonna lay you flat on the ring with 
an old school body slam, so Blake can give you the elbow frop off the top 
rope.

Aimi Hamraie & Julie Hoehn-I have seen each of you claim the lives of many 
in the cage, even breaking their bones after they have tapped out.  This is 
a dirty, shameful way to fight, but should suit you well in a no holds 
barred match.  We have no respect for rules, so tread lightly.

Gabe Murillo & Andy Timmons- there are no insults needed, you know that your 
time has come.  The torture rack awaits you, cuz remember, NO HOLDS BARRED.  
Hell, if andy's busy, we'll rock it old school-bring back Farmer, let him 
get his.

Kathryn Clark & Kade Olsen-You may have your primitive "caveman club" Kade, 
but I have 250 lbs of pure destruction.  I learned a double tiger claw 
reverse stab in my time in Nam, and it's about time somebody got it.  
Kathryn, you must return to the Heart to defend your honor, you have always 
defended well at this tournament......and bring Slusher.

Nicholas Miller & Pradeep Pramanick-Blake has told me if his new "facebook 
group" (whatever that is), which is dedicated to those who want to beat the 
crap out of Miller.  It's time to toe up, both of you.  If this is not 
enough to motivate you, then hear this:  The Houston Rockets are failures 
Nick, and I will disgrace their jerseys as I use them to clean my bottom 
after a night of drinking and popeye's chicken.

Brent Culpepper & Kevin Rabinowitz-  I am from Baton Rouge, so I will not 
honor your institution by speaking its name.  You are both agile, perhaps 
even fearless, but I have seen your skills with the steel chair, and they 
are weak.  I will defeat you not only on the battlefield, but in the bar 
after the fight is over.  You dress too nice to be good steel cage fighters.

Don't think you are exempt from the challenge, D3.  This tournament is in 
your lands, and yet none of the mighty armies of D3 are sending their finest 
warriors.

MoState-

Ozzie-  If your power was fueled by your hair, you would be the greatest.  
Unfortunately, it is fueled by your brain, leaving you out in the cold.  But 
your courage and heart may be enough.  We have battled many times before, I 
do not expect you to back down now.

Mapes 1 and Mapes 2-  Your battle cries have scared many from the ring, but 
you have never seen the devastating combination of blake and myself.  If you 
want to claim D 3 as yours, you must show up.  I could make a joke about 
fortune telling right about now, but I have too much tact to do such a 
thing.

KU-  This tournament is in your home, and you will just let us come in and 
claim it for ourselves...disgraceful.  Send all of your warriors.

I know that we have left many challengers out, but I don't have all day.  
All are welcome to come.  Scott Phillips, but down your honey bun and get 
out here.  Matheson, put down your XBOX controller and get out here.  ALL OF 
YOU WILL SHIVER IN THE FACE OF GLORY.

You have six days to answer in defense of your honor....good luck.

love,
blake and malcolm

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