[eDebate] Heat/Mavs

[Josh Branson]

(i can't really take credit for this...pretty much transcribed from the late 
night ESPN radio guy up here in chicago)

*after the Howard bonehead timeout call, while the refs are huddled 
'debating' about it*
Joe C: well guys, DWade has had the same # of FTAs as the entire Mavs team, 
we've called such gems as palming and moving screens on the mavs, and Sterno 
got rid of their 6th man for this game, so we at least need to look like 
we're deliberating this before we tell Avery that we're charging him a 
timeout. So what do you guys want to talk about?
Bennett: hmmm....OH did you see D Wade on that last drive? WOW
Joe C/Joe D (in unison): oh man what a drive
Joe C: that was some of the most aggressive use of the off arm to force his 
way through a triple team that I've seen in a while. Shaq is teaching him 
well!
Bennett: god that guy is sick. i was so impressed by his drive that I almost 
forgot to call a foul
Joe C/Joe D (in unison): HAHAHAHA
Bennett: Oh hey Joey, where did you say you got that autographed D Wade 
rookie card again?
Joe C: oh at that collectable store over on 7th street, they love me over 
there. want one?
Bennett: oh hell yeah.
Joe D: wait guys....you think maybe we should actually just not charge them 
the timeout here? I mean, he was looking at a coach when he signalled it, 
and it is the biggest play of the game, and we did just bailout D Wade on 
that last call. Maybe just let the players decide this one?
Bennett/Joe C: ....stunned silence....pause....''AHAHAHAHAHA. Joe, thanks 
for that man, this is a tense moment, you really crack me up! I almost didnt 
know you were kidding!. Alright lets go do this. One, two, three....(in 
unison) DWADE!

*break*
Joey C to Avery: yeah no you can't do that. you're charged your last 
timeout. sorry.

p.s. Roy, i'm glad to see you're thinking about this, but come on man, you 
gotta move beyond the J.V. quality 'but wade drives it to the hoop more' 
args. 14 out of his 25 foul shots, count em, 14, came outside of the paint. 
10 of them were on non-shooting fouls.  'hack a shaq' played precisely zero 
role in that, as we didnt do that until late in the fourth AFTER dwade had 
already been to the fucking line an NBA FINALS RECORD number of times.

Also, the aggregate numbers dont bother me as much as the timing. That last 
play on wade is one of the worst calls I've seen in the playoffs, rightu p 
there with lakers/kings 2k1 game 6. And bull fucking shit he was fouled on 
the last play of regulation....i guess griffin did have the audacity to get 
his body in the way of wade's left forearm, and i do know that the Joey 
Crawford/Miami Heat rulebook v. 2.0 does clearly state that defenders must 
stay out of the way of D Wade's off arm forearm  or it's going to be called 
a foul...but i guess they let it go that time. dont worry though man, they 
came through for you in a big way with 1.5 secs left. you're right, 
amazingly called game. hopefully in game 6 they'll start calling the mavs 
for more fouls...after all, we keep placing our heads/faces in the way of 
shaq's elbow. you gotta stop that before it gets out of control, h ow's a 
big fella supposed to play if he keeps having people's faces impede the path 
of his elbows?